Ephesians 6:1-4

A1 Scripture

(Ephesians 6:1-4 WPNT) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and you may live long on the earth.” And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

A2 Outline

B1 Children obey your parents

C1 It is right

C2 It is commanded

D1 First commandment with promise

D2 "Honor your father and mother"

D3 "That it may go well with you, and you may live long on the earth."

C3 Greek

D1 The word for obey is G5219 ὑπακούω hypakoúō. It means

E1 Literally, to hear under

E2 We understand it as listen to be able to follow instructions, so as to obey.

F1 The wind and sea heard the Lord Jesus and calmed (Matthew 8:27).

F2 People listen to and obey fleshly lusts (Romans 6:12).

F3 People listening to and obeying the Gospel (Romans 10:16).

E3 It is translated obey and listen (Acts 12:13).

D2 The word for honor is G5091 τιμάω timáō.

E1 Literally, to assign a value to. The Lord Jesus’s assigned value was only 30 pieces of silver (Matthew 27:9).

E2 It is used to honor God, parents, widows, and all people (1 Peter 2:17).

E3 The Lord Jesus honored His father in John 8:49, so I should be proud of my dad (proud in a good sense).

E4 Some dads are not worthy of honor because they are abusive.

B2 Fathers

C1 Do not provoke your children to anger

D1 Provoke is

E1 G3949 παροργίζω parorgízō. It means to make angry, bitter, going from a calm state to wrath.

E2 In English: to deliberately try to make someone angry (Source).

E3 Examples

F1 1 Samuel 20:30-34 NRSV Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan. He said to him, "You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother's nakedness? (31) For as long as the son of Jesse lives upon the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die." (32) Then Jonathan answered his father Saul, "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?" (33) But Saul threw his spear at him to strike him; so Jonathan knew that it was the decision of his father to put David to death. (34) Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger and ate no food on the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, and because his father had disgraced him.

F2 1 Samuel 1:6-7 NRSV Her rival used to provoke her severely, to irritate her, because the LORD had closed her womb. (7) So it went on year by year; as often as she went up to the house of the LORD, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat.

F3 1 Kings 16:33 NRSV Ahab also made a sacred pole. Ahab did more to provoke the anger of the LORD, the God of Israel, than had all the kings of Israel who were before him.

D2 What are the most common ways we as fathers do this? Here’s a helpful list from Lou Priolo.

1. Lack of marital harmony
2. Establishing and maintaining a child-centered home
3. Modeling sinful anger
4. Habitually disciplining in anger
5. Scolding
6. Being inconsistent with discipline
7. Having double standards
8. Being legalistic
9. Not admitting you’re wrong and not asking for forgiveness
10. Constantly finding fault
11. Parents reversing God-given roles
12. Not listening to your child’s opinion or taking his or her ‘side of the story’ seriously
13. Comparing them to others
14. Not making time ‘just to talk’
15. Not praising or encouraging your child
16. Failing to keep your promises
17. Chastening in front of others
18. Not allowing enough freedom
19. Allowing too much freedom
20. Mocking your child
21. Abusing them physically
22. Ridiculing or name calling
23. Unrealistic expectations
24. Practicing favoritism
25. Child training with worldly methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word

C2 Bring them up (cherish them to train them) them in

D1 Nurture (education, instruction) of the Lord

D2 Admonition (calling attention to, mild rebuke, or warning (Thayer’s) of the Lord

B3 Our motive:

C1 Our motive is to please God in doing what is right.

C2 Teach by our life, example, and guidance self-control and expecting it from the children. Included in this would be to learn to sit still so they can learn in church, school, etc.

B4 Instruction of the Lord

C1 Instruction is constructive criticism with encouragement.

C2 "You have done well, but here is a few tips of doing better."

C3 Verses

D1 1 Corinthians 10:11 NRSV These things happened to them to serve as an example, and they were written down to instruct us, on whom the ends of the ages have come.

D2 Titus 3:10 NRSV After a first and second admonition, have nothing more to do with anyone who causes divisions.

B5 Of the Lord

C1 The Lord's way. The way God educates and instructs.

C2 Parents are to teach their children how to be the type of man or woman God wishes.

C3 With the help and approval of God.

A3 Applications

B1 God is our example of how to live.

B2 God wants us to be successful as He defines it.

B3 God children to be successful as He defines it.

B4 We must be consistent in thoughts, desires, words, and deeds.

B5 Our home should be God centered, then spouse centered (after the child turns 2), but not child centered. Your spouse is more important than your child.