A Few Thoughts About the Beauty in Marriage

Marriage

B1 Body

C1 Container. This is an illustration for the sexual need in humans. The idea of a comes from of idea of emotional needs, etc.

E1 Keeping the Love Tank Full

E2 This idea was popularized by Dr. Ross Campbell. Here is one review (PDF). I believe the book is still for sale.

D1 A man has a sexual container to enjoy his wife’s beauty. This container needs to be filled up. It cannot be filled in only a minute.

D2 A woman has a sexual container to have her husband enjoy her beauty. This container needs to be filled up. This too, cannot be filled in only a minute.

D3 This enjoyment has to be done by all the senses: eyes (seeing), taste (kissing), feel (touching), smell (perfume, etc.), hearing (communication).

D4 Some verses to give you the idea:

E1 Eyes

F1 Song of Solomon 1:10 GNB Your hair is beautiful upon your cheeks and falls along your neck like jewels.

F2 Song of Solomon 4:5 GNB Your breasts are like gazelles, twin deer feeding among lilies.

E2 Taste

F1 Song of Solomon 1:2 GNB Your lips cover me with kisses; your love is better than wine.

F2 Song of Solomon 4:11 GNB The taste of honey is on your lips, my darling; your tongue is milk and honey for me. Your clothing has all the fragrance of Lebanon.

E3 Feel

F1 Song of Solomon 1:13 GNB My lover has the scent of myrrh as he lies upon my breasts.

F2 Song of Solomon 2:6 GNB His left hand is under my head, and his right hand caresses me.

E4 Smell

F1 Song of Solomon 1:3 GNB There is a fragrance about you; the sound of your name recalls it. No woman could keep from loving you.

F2 Song of Solomon 1:12 GNB My king was lying on his couch, and my perfume filled the air with fragrance.

E5 Hearing

F1 Song of Solomon 1:15-16 GNB How beautiful you are, my love; how your eyes shine with love! 16 How handsome you are, my dearest; how you delight me! The green grass will be our bed.

F2 Note hearing, seeing, and hearing: Song of Solomon 2:14 GNB You are like a dove that hides in the crevice of a rock. Let me see your lovely face and hear your enchanting voice.

F3 Song of Solomon 4:1 GNB How beautiful you are, my love! How your eyes shine with love behind your veil. Your hair dances like a flock of goats bounding down the hills of Gilead.

C2 Eventually we all get into middle age and beyond, and our bodies don’t look like they did when we were in our 20s. Pregnancy changes this also (a good article is A Mom’s Body Change After Pregnancy) [When I find the link, I’ll update the article.]

D1 Your wife/your husband still needs these things. You still need to enjoy her beauty and let her know this.

D2 It is evil to look around at others. It happens, but it is evil.

E1 Exodus 20:14 NLT You must not commit adultery.

E2 Think of the 10 Commandments as a set, each of the 10 Commandments as a subset, and each subset having every possible sin. In our quote above, this subset of adultery includes every sexual sin possible. Thus porn, etc. is wrong, sin, evil, condemned by God, etc.

E3 Hebrews 13:4 NLT Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

D3 Both husband and wife are to enjoy sex. 1 Corinthians 7:3 NLT The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs.

E1 Sex is not just the release. It is both of them enjoying physical pleasure. Both need time to enjoy this pleasure. It is not something that happens in a couple of minutes.

E2 The wife can refuse, and the husband must submit. However, it should not be often. See the verses below:

F1 She can refuse: 1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

F2 There is a time limit: 1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

B2 Soul

C1 This is the beauty of each other’s character, personality, gifts, abilities, likes, and dislikes, etc. It is what makes each of us unique.

C2 We are to enjoy each emotionally, intellectually, and daily living.

C3 The more compatible we are, the easier this is to do. [See note 3]

C4 Take time with each other to work together, chore together, laugh together, work on family situations together, plan together, think together, eat together, listen to each other, help each other, encourage each other, be kind to each other, be compassionate to each other, forgive each other, console each other, be aware of each other’s needs, frustrations, hard day at work, etc.

C5 Live love the way God has instructed us [See note 4]. These things should be between both of us: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a WEL Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices in the truth, 7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, calmly endures all things. 8 Love never ends,

C6 Wives do give good counsel. There is safety in a multitude of counselors: God first, Bible, spouse (yes the wife counsel is important, too), etc.

D1 Moses didn’t listen to his wife’s counsel, so God came to kill Moses: Exodus 4:24-26 NET Now on the way, at a place where they stopped for the night, the LORD met Moses and sought to kill him. 25 But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off the foreskin of her son and touched it to Moses' feet, and said, "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me." 26 So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said, "A bridegroom of blood," referring to the circumcision.)

D2 Pilate: Matthew 27:19 NET As he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent a message to him: "Have nothing to do with that innocent man; I have suffered greatly as a result of a dream about him today."

B3 Spirit

C1 For the Christian, this is a life of worship together, serving God together, and fellowship with God and His people together. We are to be seeing in our wife or in our husband the following beautiful things:

D1 Seeing the beauty of your spouse as you celebrate God, His worldview, His lifestyle, His attributes, His beliefs (doctrines), His Gospel, His care, and His people.

D2 Seeing the gifts of the Spirit in your spouse. Both wife and husband have gifts of the Spirit.

E1 Romans 12:6-8 NIV We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. [See note 1 and 2 below]

E2 Also see 1 Peter 4:10-11, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, Ephesians 4:11-16, James 1:17, etc.

C2 The following are rules for the whole church, but I am applying these today to our marriages. Husband and wife living this type life serving, God, each other, fellow believers, and everyone else:

D1 Romans 12:9-21 NIV Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

D2 Husband and wife are to living, thinking, applying, doing the above in private and publicly—firstly to your spouse, secondly to the rest of your immediate family, thirdly to the believers you fellowship with, fourthly to believers worldwide, and lastly to everyone else.

Unity

B1 It is required:

C1 Genesis 2:24 NLT This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

C2 If we are to have fellowship with God and fellow believers, then it is more so to have fellowship with our spouse: 1 John 1:3 NIV We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.

B2 This verse is a principle of doing something together, being yoked together, so partnerships, fellowship in church, business, marriage, etc. Husband and wife are to be yoked together:

C1 Everything in creation was pronounced good, except that Adam was left alone. Eve was then created for Adam to have fellowship and a thinking mate for counsel and consoling. Adam did not have all the gifts and ability to take care of the Garden; God made it so. Eve had the other gifts and ability needed to work together. They were yoked together.

C2 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

C3 This was written to the congregation at Rome, but I believe it can be applied to marriage as well. You decide. Romans 15:5-7 NIV May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6 so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

[All emphasis is mine]

Note 1: Prophecy is not a gift in use today. Maybe you believe so, but I am not here to fight about this but the qualifications are 100% correct in the doctrine that one teaches, the advice that one offers, the wisdom, the rebukes, the warnings, even speaking future events. There is simply no one who could be qualified by the Apostles of Jesus Christ, since they are no longer living on earth. The so-called apostles of today have no proof that they meet God’s qualifications of Acts 1:21-22, 1 Corinthians 1:9 (Paul had witnesses), 2 Corinthians 12:12, Revelation 2:2. If there are no apostles to authenticate them. There is no way to know if they are prophets or not.

Note 2: I would agree with this: Are there prophets in the church today?

Note 3: Compatibility Sources but be aware not all have Biblical ideals

B1 Free Quiz with Marriage Compatibility Questions

B2 Marriage Compatibility 7 Critical Areas to Evaluate (Note this site evidently teaches courtship, so be aware).

B3 Pre-Marriage Awareness Questionnaire (PDF)

Note 4: The 5 Love Languages Quiz

A Few Thoughts About Christ’s Respect for the Church

I’m writing this article in response to those who teach that husbands are to love their wives but not respect them, and those who teach the wife is to respect her husband. Respect, the way some of these teachers define it, borders on the idea of entitlement. Believe it or not it is rather common. One such book is Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. One of many critical reviews can be found here (note, I don’t endorse everything on that website).

Christ is head of the church:

B1 Ephesians 5:23 NIV For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

B2 Ephesians 1:22 NIV And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church,

The church is all believers from Pentecost to the Rapture

B1 Ephesians 1:23 NIV which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

B2 Romans 12:4-5 NLT Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

Christ is the bridegroom, the church is the bride (as understood by most commentators):

B1 Revelation 19:7-8 LEB Let us rejoice and be glad and give him the glory, because the wedding celebration of the Lamb has come, and his bride has prepared herself. 8 And it has been granted to her that she be dressed in bright, clean fine linen (for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints).

B2 2 Corinthians 11:2 NLT For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband—Christ.

Christ respects his “wife,” the church:

B1 Christ’s style of leadership is to delegate

C1 Proverbs 31:10-31 (The NLT gives the best rendition)

D1 The husband delegates managing the house to his wife: Proverbs 31:11 NLT Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

E1 The Hebrew word for trust is בָּטַח bâṭach.

E2 It means not to fear, have trust, have confidence in

D2 The wife assesses what needs to be done

D3 The wife delegates what needs to be done to her maids (servants), who do the work: Proverbs 31:15 NLT She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls.

D4 The wife goes out of the house to buy land, “makes sure her dealings are profitable,” and “she gives instructions with kindness.”

D5 She overseers the work done in the house: Proverbs 31:27 GW She keeps a close eye on the conduct of her family, and she does not eat the bread of idleness.

D6 She receives the credit for doing her work well: Proverbs 31:31 NLT Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

C2 God delegates

D1 Rule as with Adam & Eve: Genesis 1:26 CSB Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth." (Adam lost this when he sinned. So satan in now the power. The Lord Jesus will finish satan and destroy him totally, then the Lord Jesus will rule the earth from Jerusalem. See Zechariah 14 especially: Zechariah 14:9, 17 NLT And the LORD will be king over all the earth. On that day there will be one LORD—his name alone will be worshiped. ... 17 Any nation in the world that refuses to come to Jerusalem to worship the King, the LORD of Heaven's Armies, will have no rain).

D2 Rule as in human government: Romans 13:1 GW Every person should obey the government in power. No government would exist if it hadn't been established by God. The governments which exist have been put in place by God

D3 Administrators of the congregation: Acts 20:28 NET Watch out for yourselves and for all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God that he obtained with the blood of his own Son.

D4 All of us for discipling: Ephesians 4:11-13 NET It was he who gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, that is, to build up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God - a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ's full stature.

D5 Jesus as Messiah and Redeemer: Luke 22:42 NIV Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.

D6 Remember that God gives us the grace to accomplish what He wants from us: Philippians 2:13 NIV for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

B2 Christ assigns the church to reign. If the Church is the bride, then Jesus gives us the example to follow.

C1 Revelation 20:6 NIV Blessed and holy are those who share in the first resurrection. The second death has no power over them, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with him for a thousand years.

C2 2 Timothy 2:12 NIV if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us;

C3 Revelation 5:10 NET You have appointed them as a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth."

B3 Christ treats the wife as He wants to be treated Himself: Matthew 19:19 NIV honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"

B4 Christ does not control; He delegates.

One verse, taken out of context, that is a proof text for these types of teachers is Ephesians 5:24 NET But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Knowing all what I wrote above and the critical review, how can this verse mean that the wife must do everything her husband tells us. Remember now, everything.

B1 The Bible understands the meaning of everything to be everything pleasing to God, as God acts, and as lawful. If the husband commands her to sin, she must not obey him.

B2 Christ’s leadership style is not a dictator but a delegator.

B3 The abusive, so-called, Marriage Enrichment type books have it so, so wrong.

B4 Submit in English means: intransitive verb 1a: to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER

B4 In Greek the word is ὑποτάσσω hypotássō. It means to place under: 6. to obey, be subject A Greek military term meaning to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader. In non-military use, it was a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.

C1 So the word does NOT mean using force of position, voice, strength, etc.

C2 It carries the meaning of cooperating, taking responsibility, and carrying out our tasks.

Too many teachers leave out the context of Ephesians 5:24. So, here it is: Ephesians 5:21-24 NLT And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. [Emphasis is mine]

We are not to be the dictator, enforcer, bully, abuser, despot, authoritarian, etc.

All marriages are either Christian or controlling. If it is controlling, it is not Christian. If it is Christian, it is not controlling. Some links about this here, here, and All Power and Control Regimes Share the Same Basic Characteristics.

We are to be cooperative, working on problems together, rejoicing together, giving each other advice, respecting each other, loving each other, etc. If there is a final disagreement (a tie), then it is best to seek outside counsel from multiple people, not just one.

God HATES abuse. The wife is often blamed for difficulties in the home.

B1 This is outwardly treats his wife nicely, but in private, it is a totally different thing: Malachi 2:16 ISV “Indeed, the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce, along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances,” says the Lord of the Heavenly Armies. “So guard yourselves carefully, and don’t be unfaithful.”

B2 God hates abusers: 1 Corinthians 6:910 WEL Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Don’t be deceived, for neither fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, active homosexual partners, 10 Thieves, covetous, drunkards, verbal abusers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

B3 God hates harsh treatment of anyone: Colossians 3:19 NLT Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. [Emphasis is mine]

A husband is to respect his wife. Avoid teachers that teach otherwise.

B1 Adam needed help. God created Adam that way. Genesis 2:18 NLT Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him."

B2 Adam needed God’s help.

B3 Adam needed Eve’s help.

B4 A wife is a good counselor. What human knows us better and wishes the best for us. (I do realize some wives are domestic abusers, too). Even if we disagree with them, we need to listen and understand what they are saying. We are not to consider ourselves too worthy to listen to her.

B5 Consider what Eggerichs apparently believes, How should a wife act if she strongly disagrees with her husband about some issue? 1Timothy 2:12 has some advice. Paul writes, “I do not allow a woman to exercise authority over a man but to remain quiet.” (p.220). (Source. Note, I do not have the book. I have not read the book).

B6 God gives our wives (sisters in Christ) spiritual gifts just like the brothers.

C1 Bible verses on gifts

D1 1 Corinthians 12

D2 Romans 12

D3 1 Peter 4:10-11 CSB Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God. 11 If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God's words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

C2 Proverbs 12:15 LEB The way of a fool is upright in his own eyes, but he who listens to advice is wise.

B7 Decisions are best made in a multitude of counselors. At the beginning, the multitude of counselors are God and Eve.

C1 Proverbs 11:14 NKJV Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

C2 Proverbs 15:22 NKJV 2 Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.

B6 Read Proverbs 31:10-31 again and note how the husband needed the wife’s help. He could not do everything. He respected her and gave her credit for what she has done, is doing, and will do.

Isaiah 8:20 WEB Turn to the law and to the testimony! If they don’t speak according to this word, surely there is no morning for them.

Acts 17:11 CSB The people here were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, since they received the word with eagerness and examined the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Normally I don’t have such a long sermon outline. At time of delivery, it would be reduced to about 3 pages instead of 11, but since it is written, I thought I would include all.

I’ve adopted Natalie Hoffman’s terms of marriage as Christian or controlling, rather than complementarian and egalitarian. Her article explains it well.

Ephesians Chapter 5:21-33

Revised

A1 Scripture

B1 Ephesians 5:22-33 WEL 21 Place yourselves under one another in the fear of God. 22 Wives place yourselves under your own husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and Himself is savior of the body. 24 Therefore, since the church is under the authority of Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church even giving himself for her. 26 So that he might might sanctify her and cleanse her by the washing of water with the word. 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having a spot or a wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no man has ever hated his own flesh but takes care of it and cherishes it, as the Lord [does for] the church. 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two of them will be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery, but I am talking about Christ and his church. 33 Nevertheless, let everyone of you so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she respects her husband.

B2 Ephesians 5:21-33 GW  Place yourselves under each other's authority out of respect for Christ.  22 Wives, place yourselves under your husbands' authority as you have placed yourselves under the Lord's authority.  23 The husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. It is his body, and he is its Savior. 24  As the church is under Christ's authority, so wives are under their husbands' authority in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.  26 He did this to make the church holy by cleansing it, washing it using water along with spoken words. 27 Then he could present it to himself as a glorious church, without any kind of stain or wrinkle-holy and without faults.  28 So husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 No one ever hated his own body. Instead, he feeds and takes care of it, as Christ takes care of the church. 30 We are parts of his body.  31 That's why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will be one. 32 This is a great mystery. (I'm talking about Christ's relationship to the church.) 33 But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands.

A2 Topics

B1 Meaning of submit

C1 The Greek implies no sense of resistance. From TDNTa

hypotássō.

A. The Greek World.

1. The active form of this verb means “to place under,” “to affix,” “to subordinate” (passive “to be subject”).

2. The middle form means “to subject oneself,” “to be subservient,” “to submit voluntarily.”

B. The LXX. The verb is not common in the LXX and stands for 13 Hebrew words in the usual senses “to place under,” “to subordinate,” “to subject,” passive “to be subject,” and middle “to subject oneself,” “to submit,” especially to God (Ps. 37:7).

C. The NT.

1. In the NT the term has a wide range of meaning centering on the idea of enforced or voluntary subordination. The active occurs in Rom. 8:20 to express the thought that creation is subjected to futility (cf. 5:12). The other active statements are christological. Quoting Ps. 8:6, 1 Cor. 15:25 says that Christ subjects all things (including death) to himself. Naturally this does not include God, for it is finally God who does the subjecting. Ps. 8:6 also underlies Phil. 3:21. Here Christ does the subjecting; he manifests his unlimited power by transforming the lowly body into the likeness of his glorious body. In Heb. 2:7-8 (cf. again Ps. 8:6) God subjects the world, not to angels, but to the Son, who is superior to the angels. The subjecting has begun but awaits consummation. Eph. 1:22 relates Ps. 8:6 to the enthronement that has already taken place, and with an ecclesiological reference. 1 Pet. 3:22 refers similarly to a subjection that Christ’s ascension and session complete. The common use of the verb of Ps. 8:6 shows that this verse holds an important place in the primitive Christian confession.

2. a. The middle denotes enforced submission in Lk. 10:17, 20, but elsewhere voluntary submission is at issue. Thus in Rom. 8:7 the flesh resists submission to God’s demand. Pious Judaism resists submission to God’s saving work in Rom. 10:3. A play on the active occurs in 1 Cor. 15:28. In his only use of the absolute “the Son,” Paul here shows that the Son achieves absolute power only to hand it back to God. All power rightly belongs to God, but to the very limit God has given to “the Son” the precedence that is his due.

b. The middle often occurs in exhortation (cf. submission to God in Jms. 4:7 and to salutary discipline in Heb. 12:9).

c. Lk. 2:51 stresses the subjection of the boy Jesus to his earthly parents. Like the subjection of wives to husbands (Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:21ff.; 1 Pet. 3:1; Tit. 2:5), this is according to a divinely willed order.

d. Also divinely willed is the submission to authorities in Rom. 13:1ff., which acknowledges their legitimacy on the basis of their divine commission to reward good and punish evil. Tit. 3:1 and 1 Pet. 2:13-14 echo this teaching, which possibly rests on the reply of Jesus in Mk. 12:17 and parallels. At issue, of course, is the attitude to government as such rather than specifically the Roman state. Christians do not submit to the state merely because it provides conditions for their life and mission. They and all people owe subjection because government is by divine ordination.

e. Slaves should be subject to their masters, not now because slavery is by divine ordination, but because it is a reality that Christians are in no position to set aside. Among themselves, they can and should set it aside as members of the one family of God (cf. 1 Pet. 2:18; 1 Tim. 6:1-2; Phlm. 16).

f. 1 Pet. 5:5 demands the subjection of the younger to the elder, but also a general humility corresponding to the mutual subjection of Eph. 5:21. As a witness to unbelievers, Christians should accept submission to all human institutions for the Lord’s sake.

g. The general rule in NT exhortation is that there should be mutual readiness to renounce one’s own will for others. Even when believers owe secular subjection, this takes on a new aspect and has a new basis with the common subjection to Christ. The demand for mutual subjection shows that Christian hypotássomai bears a material relation to Christian tapeinophrosýnē.

D. The Early Church. Among the apostolic fathers Ignatius asks for submission to the bishop (and to one another) (Magnesians 13.2 etc.). 1 Clem. 57.2 counsels submission to the divinely ordained authorities. The heavens submit to God in 1 Clem. 20.1 (cf. Diog. 7.2). God in love has subjected creation to us (Hermas Mandates 12.4.2). Slaves should submit to their masters in godly reverence and fear (Did. 4.10-11). Of the Apologists Justin makes most use of the term, e.g., for God subjecting the earth to us or for the subjecting of enemies or demons to Christ (Apology 40.7; Dialogue 30.3).

5293 hypotássō (from 5259 /hypó, "under" and 5021 /tássō, "arrange") – properly, "under God's arrangement," i.e. submitting to the Lord (His plan). Copyright © 1987, 2011 by Helps Ministries, Inc.

B2 Every use in NT:

C1 No hint of resistance—Luke 2:51 KJV - And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject[G5293] unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. Comment: the Lord Jesus does NOT resist, there is nothing for Joseph and Mary to force.

C2 No resistance—Luke 10:17, 20 KJV - And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject[G5293] unto us through thy name. ... Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject[G5293] unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven. Comment: There seems to be no resistance here, for the evil spirits could easily have overpowered the 70.

C3 Not subjected shows resistance—Romans 8:7, 20 KJV - Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is[G5293][G0] not subject[G5293] to the law of God, neither indeed can be. ... For the creature was made subject[G5293] to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected[G5293] the same in hope. Comment: not subject implies resistance. The negative is important.

C4 Not submitted shows resistance—Romans 10:3 KJV - For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have[G5293][G0] not submitted themselves[G5293] unto the righteousness of God.

C5 No hint of resistance—Romans 13:1, 5 KJV - Let every soul be subject[G5293] unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. ... Wherefore ye must needs be subject,[G5293] not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.

C6 No hint of resistance—1 Corinthians 14:32, 34 KJV - And the spirits of the prophets are subject[G5293] to the prophets. ... Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience,[G5293] as also saith the law.

C7 No hint of resistance—1 Corinthians 15:27–28 KJV - For he hath put[G5293] all things under his feet. But when he saith all things are put under[G5293] him, it is manifest that he is excepted, which did put[G5293][G0] all things under[G5293] him. And when all things shall be subdued[G5293] unto him, then shall[G5293][G0] the Son also himself be subject[G5293] unto him that put[G5293][G0] all things under[G5293] him, that God may be all in all. Comment: The Lord Jesus does not resist and needs to overcome.

C8 No hint of resistance—1 Corinthians 16:16 KJV -  That ye submit yourselves[G5293] unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and laboureth.

C9 No hint of resistance—Ephesians 1:22 KJV - And hath put[G5293] all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, Comment: The fact of the Lord Jesus’s superiority.

C10 No hint of resistance—Ephesians 5:21–22, 24 KJV - Submitting yourselves[G5293] one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves[G5293] unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ... Therefore as the church is subject[G5293] unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Comment: No resistance! Husband is to submit to wife and wife to husband. The word is closer to an attitude of humbleness.

C11 No hint of resistance—Philippians 3:21 KJV - Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue[G5293] all things unto himself.

C12 No hint of resistance—Colossians 3:18 KJV - Wives, submit yourselves[G5293] unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

C13 No hint of resistance—Titus 2:5, 9 KJV - To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient[G5293] to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. ... Exhort servants to be obedient[G5293] unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;

C14 No hint of resistance—Titus 3:1 KJV - Put them in mind to be subject[G5293] to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work, Comment: Christians are NOT to resist, so this can’t refer to resistance.

C15 This speaks of leadership and authority, not resistance. Hebrews 2:5, 8 KJV - For unto the angels hath he[G5293][G0] not put in subjection[G5293] the world to come, whereof we speak. ... Thou hast put[G5293][G0] all things in subjection[G5293] under his feet. For in that he put[G5293][G0] all in subjection under[G5293] him, he left nothing that is not put under him. But now we see not yet all things put under[G5293] him.

C16 No hint of resistance—Hebrews 12:9 KJV - Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we[G5293][G0] not much rather be in subjection[G5293] unto the Father of spirits, and live? Comment: It is implied that no resistance will be offered by a believer.

C17 No hint of resistance—James 4:7 KJV - Submit yourselves[G5293] therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Comment: we don’t resistance ourselves and over us.

C18 No hint of resistance—1 Peter 2:13, 18 KJV -  Submit yourselves[G5293] to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; ... Servants, be subject[G5293] to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.

C19 No hint of resistance—1 Peter 3:1, 5, 22 KJV - Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection[G5293] to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; ... For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection[G5293] unto their own husbands: ... Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject[G5293] unto him.

C20 No hint of resistance—1 Peter 5:5 KJV - Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves[G5293] unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject[G5293] one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

B3 English word shows overcoming resistance.

D1 Macmillan Dictionary: [INTRANSITIVE] to accept that someone has defeated you or has power over you submit to: In the end, they submitted to the Americans.

D2 Oxford Dictionaries: [no object] Accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person. ‘the original settlers were forced to submit to Bulgarian rule’

D3 Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

E1 transitive verb 1a : to yield to governance or authority.

E2 intransitive verb

1a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER

b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something had to submit to surgery

2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another

B4 Submit to each other

C1 Passage: Ephesians 5:21 GW Place yourselves under each other's authority out of respect for Christ.

C2 As noted above, the word translated submit in most translations, refers to a humility, not pushing for one’s rights. It does not refer to control that must overcome resistance.

C3 The husband must submit, place himself under, the wife’s authority, just as the wife must submit, place herself under, the husband’s authority.

C4 Compare:

D1 1 Peter 5:5 GW  Young people, in a similar way, place yourselves under the authority of spiritual leaders. Furthermore, all of you must serve each other with humility, because God opposes the arrogant but favors the humble.

D2 Ephesians 4:1-3 GW  I, a prisoner in the Lord, encourage you to live the kind of life which proves that God has called you.  2 Be humble and gentle in every way. Be patient with each other and lovingly accept each other. 3 Through the peace that ties you together, do your best to maintain the unity that the Spirit gives.

B5 Wives to husbands and husbands to wife is important for a fellowship marriage.

B6 Head of church

C1 These Scriptures teach husbands places themselves under their wives and wives under their husbands, but it does not teach that Messiah Jesus places Himself under the members of His church.

C2 His style of leadership is a shepherd; it is not a controlling monster.

C3 Husbands to love wives

D1 Love is a choice.

D2 The actions of love on recorded in 1 Corinthians 13.

D3 There is no hint of any form of control or abuse.

C4 Church is all believers from Pentecost to the Rapture.

C5 Sanctification

D1 Is a separation from what is displeasing and disgusting to God.

D2 3 types

E1 Positional Sanctification is also termed justification. It is the total renewing of the heart by God after believing faith into Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 NRSV So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!

E2 Experiential sanctification is also termed progressive sanctification. It is from the Holy Spirit’s work in the life of the believer to conform it to God’s ways.

F1 Hebrews 12:9-12 GW On earth we have fathers who disciplined us, and we respect them. Shouldn't we place ourselves under the authority of God, the father of spirits, so that we will live?  10 For a short time our fathers disciplined us as they thought best. Yet, God disciplines us for our own good so that we can become holy like him. 11 We don't enjoy being disciplined. It always seems to cause more pain than joy. But later on, those who learn from that discipline have peace that comes from doing what is right.  12 Strengthen your tired arms and weak knees.

F2 2 Peter 1:5-8 WEL Beside this, be diligent to add to your faith moral excellence; to moral excellence add knowledge. 6 To knowledge add self-control; to self-control add perseverance; to perseverance add godliness. 7 To godliness add brotherly love; to brotherly love add unselfish, unconditional love. 8 For if these qualities are in you and are plentiful, they will make you not to be barren or unfruitful in the thorough knowledge concerning our Lord Jesus Christ.

F3 Romans 6:19-22 GW  I'm speaking in a human way because of the weakness of your corrupt nature. Clearly, you once offered all the parts of your body as slaves to sexual perversion and disobedience. This led you to live disobedient lives. Now, in the same way, offer all the parts of your body as slaves that do what God approves of. This leads you to live holy lives.  20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from doing what God approves of. 21 What did you gain by doing those things? You're ashamed of what you used to do because it ended in death. 22 Now you have been freed from sin and have become God's slaves. This results in a holy life and, finally, in everlasting life.

E3 Ultimate sanctification which is also termed glorification.

F1 We need sin again: Romans 6:7 WEL Indeed, the one who has died is freed from sin.

F2 Sin will be no more after the final judgment:

G1 Revelation 21:7-8 WEL He who overcomes will inherit everything, I will be his God, and he will be my son, 8 “But the cowardly, unbelieving, loathsome, murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars will have their share in the lake which burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.

G2 Revelation 21:27 WEL In no way will there enter anything that defiles, does detestable things, or [makes] a lie. Only those who are written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

C6 Cleansing by washing of water with the word

D1 Cleansing

E1 The Greek word is G2511 καθαρίζω katharizō.

E2 It means

F1 Physically cleaning as a shower or bath to wash dirt off our skin.

F2 Moral cleaning as stop sinning.

F3 Levitical cleaning.

F4 Salvation cleaning from sin and death to justification and life.

G1 Acts 15:9 CSB - He made no distinction between us and them, cleansing their hearts by faith.

G2 Hebrews 9:14 WEB - How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

G3 1 John 1:7, 9 WEB - But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. ... If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

D2 Washing of water with the word.

E1 Since physical water with special words cannot cleanse spiritual, it must refer to the work of God. Water cannot cleanse the soul. Baptism is, among other things, acknowledging the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

F1 1 John 1:7, 9 CSB - If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. ... If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

F2 1 Peter 3:20-21 GW They are like those who disobeyed long ago in the days of Noah when God waited patiently while Noah built the ship. In this ship a few people-eight in all-were saved by water.  21 Baptism, which is like that water, now saves you. Baptism doesn't save by removing dirt from the body. Rather, baptism is a request to God for a clear conscience. It saves you through Jesus Christ, who came back from death to life.

E2 It is the blood of Jesus Christ, our redeemer. Hebrews 9:14 CSB - how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, cleanse our consciences from dead works so that we can serve the living God?

B7 An illustration of Christ and His church

B8 A lifestyle for husbands and wives

C1 Husbands to love wife as himself

C2 Wife to respect her husband

A3 Applications

B1 Humility is important. As Christians in marriage, we do not demand our rights from our spouse. If this was understood better, there would be far less arguments, maybe even none.

B2 Messiah Yeshua is the perfect example. Since He is this way, but God’s grace we need to push ourselves to be this way.

B3 Abuse is evil.

B4 Demanding submission is evil.

B5 We must love each and respect each other.