Marriage
B1 Body
C1 Container. This is an illustration for the sexual need in humans. The idea of a comes from of idea of emotional needs, etc.
E2 This idea was popularized by Dr. Ross Campbell. Here is one review (PDF). I believe the book is still for sale.
D1 A man has a sexual container to enjoy his wife’s beauty. This container needs to be filled up. It cannot be filled in only a minute.
D2 A woman has a sexual container to have her husband enjoy her beauty. This container needs to be filled up. This too, cannot be filled in only a minute.
D3 This enjoyment has to be done by all the senses: eyes (seeing), taste (kissing), feel (touching), smell (perfume, etc.), hearing (communication).
D4 Some verses to give you the idea:
E1 Eyes
F1 Song of Solomon 1:10 GNB Your hair is beautiful upon your cheeks and falls along your neck like jewels.
F2 Song of Solomon 4:5 GNB Your breasts are like gazelles, twin deer feeding among lilies.
E2 Taste
F1 Song of Solomon 1:2 GNB Your lips cover me with kisses; your love is better than wine.
F2 Song of Solomon 4:11 GNB The taste of honey is on your lips, my darling; your tongue is milk and honey for me. Your clothing has all the fragrance of Lebanon.
E3 Feel
F1 Song of Solomon 1:13 GNB My lover has the scent of myrrh as he lies upon my breasts.
F2 Song of Solomon 2:6 GNB His left hand is under my head, and his right hand caresses me.
E4 Smell
F1 Song of Solomon 1:3 GNB There is a fragrance about you; the sound of your name recalls it. No woman could keep from loving you.
F2 Song of Solomon 1:12 GNB My king was lying on his couch, and my perfume filled the air with fragrance.
E5 Hearing
F1 Song of Solomon 1:15-16 GNB How beautiful you are, my love; how your eyes shine with love! 16 How handsome you are, my dearest; how you delight me! The green grass will be our bed.
F2 Note hearing, seeing, and hearing: Song of Solomon 2:14 GNB You are like a dove that hides in the crevice of a rock. Let me see your lovely face and hear your enchanting voice.
F3 Song of Solomon 4:1 GNB How beautiful you are, my love! How your eyes shine with love behind your veil. Your hair dances like a flock of goats bounding down the hills of Gilead.
C2 Eventually we all get into middle age and beyond, and our bodies don’t look like they did when we were in our 20s. Pregnancy changes this also (a good article is A Mom’s Body Change After Pregnancy) [When I find the link, I’ll update the article.]
D1 Your wife/your husband still needs these things. You still need to enjoy her beauty and let her know this.
D2 It is evil to look around at others. It happens, but it is evil.
E1 Exodus 20:14 NLT You must not commit adultery.
E2 Think of the 10 Commandments as a set, each of the 10 Commandments as a subset, and each subset having every possible sin. In our quote above, this subset of adultery includes every sexual sin possible. Thus porn, etc. is wrong, sin, evil, condemned by God, etc.
E3 Hebrews 13:4 NLT Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
D3 Both husband and wife are to enjoy sex. 1 Corinthians 7:3 NLT The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs.
E1 Sex is not just the release. It is both of them enjoying physical pleasure. Both need time to enjoy this pleasure. It is not something that happens in a couple of minutes.
E2 The wife can refuse, and the husband must submit. However, it should not be often. See the verses below:
F1 She can refuse: 1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
F2 There is a time limit: 1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
B2 Soul
C1 This is the beauty of each other’s character, personality, gifts, abilities, likes, and dislikes, etc. It is what makes each of us unique.
C2 We are to enjoy each emotionally, intellectually, and daily living.
C3 The more compatible we are, the easier this is to do. [See note 3]
C4 Take time with each other to work together, chore together, laugh together, work on family situations together, plan together, think together, eat together, listen to each other, help each other, encourage each other, be kind to each other, be compassionate to each other, forgive each other, console each other, be aware of each other’s needs, frustrations, hard day at work, etc.
C5 Live love the way God has instructed us [See note 4]. These things should be between both of us: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a WEL Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices in the truth, 7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, calmly endures all things. 8 Love never ends,
C6 Wives do give good counsel. There is safety in a multitude of counselors: God first, Bible, spouse (yes the wife counsel is important, too), etc.
D1 Moses didn’t listen to his wife’s counsel, so God came to kill Moses: Exodus 4:24-26 NET Now on the way, at a place where they stopped for the night, the LORD met Moses and sought to kill him. 25 But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off the foreskin of her son and touched it to Moses' feet, and said, "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me." 26 So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said, "A bridegroom of blood," referring to the circumcision.)
D2 Pilate: Matthew 27:19 NET As he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent a message to him: "Have nothing to do with that innocent man; I have suffered greatly as a result of a dream about him today."
B3 Spirit
C1 For the Christian, this is a life of worship together, serving God together, and fellowship with God and His people together. We are to be seeing in our wife or in our husband the following beautiful things:
D1 Seeing the beauty of your spouse as you celebrate God, His worldview, His lifestyle, His attributes, His beliefs (doctrines), His Gospel, His care, and His people.
D2 Seeing the gifts of the Spirit in your spouse. Both wife and husband have gifts of the Spirit.
E1 Romans 12:6-8 NIV We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. [See note 1 and 2 below]
E2 Also see 1 Peter 4:10-11, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, Ephesians 4:11-16, James 1:17, etc.
C2 The following are rules for the whole church, but I am applying these today to our marriages. Husband and wife living this type life serving, God, each other, fellow believers, and everyone else:
D1 Romans 12:9-21 NIV Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
D2 Husband and wife are to living, thinking, applying, doing the above in private and publicly—firstly to your spouse, secondly to the rest of your immediate family, thirdly to the believers you fellowship with, fourthly to believers worldwide, and lastly to everyone else.
Unity
B1 It is required:
C1 Genesis 2:24 NLT This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
C2 If we are to have fellowship with God and fellow believers, then it is more so to have fellowship with our spouse: 1 John 1:3 NIV We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.
B2 This verse is a principle of doing something together, being yoked together, so partnerships, fellowship in church, business, marriage, etc. Husband and wife are to be yoked together:
C1 Everything in creation was pronounced good, except that Adam was left alone. Eve was then created for Adam to have fellowship and a thinking mate for counsel and consoling. Adam did not have all the gifts and ability to take care of the Garden; God made it so. Eve had the other gifts and ability needed to work together. They were yoked together.
C2 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
C3 This was written to the congregation at Rome, but I believe it can be applied to marriage as well. You decide. Romans 15:5-7 NIV May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6 so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
[All emphasis is mine]
Note 1: Prophecy is not a gift in use today. Maybe you believe so, but I am not here to fight about this but the qualifications are 100% correct in the doctrine that one teaches, the advice that one offers, the wisdom, the rebukes, the warnings, even speaking future events. There is simply no one who could be qualified by the Apostles of Jesus Christ, since they are no longer living on earth. The so-called apostles of today have no proof that they meet God’s qualifications of Acts 1:21-22, 1 Corinthians 1:9 (Paul had witnesses), 2 Corinthians 12:12, Revelation 2:2. If there are no apostles to authenticate them. There is no way to know if they are prophets or not.
Note 2: I would agree with this: Are there prophets in the church today?
Note 3: Compatibility Sources but be aware not all have Biblical ideals
B2 Marriage Compatibility 7 Critical Areas to Evaluate (Note this site evidently teaches courtship, so be aware).
B3 Pre-Marriage Awareness Questionnaire (PDF)
Note 4: The 5 Love Languages Quiz
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