26 February 2015

Some Things to Think About Before You Marry

Some tips on finding a wife (husband)


 

The easiest marriage life is when people are friends with much in common. The more in common the easier it is. Looks have very little value, because you have to live with this person. The most beautiful person in existence may have a road kill personality. Marrying such a person would make life difficult.


 

How much melanin is in their skin is meaningless. It has no bearing on whom to marry. There are no races. We are all one race.


 

Culture may be different but is an opportunity to learn and appreciate others. It should have no bearing on marriage choice.


 

A spiritually born again person must not marry a non-born again person. A born again person should marry a born again person, and a non-born again person should marry a non-born again person. Confused? See here--Need God.


 

Beware of the psychopath! See article at the bottom.


 

A1 Similar

B1 Lifestyle


C1 This would include


D1 Dress


D2 Music


D3 Food


D4 Daily habits as bedtime, etc.


D5 Clean or sloppy house and/or personal habits


D6 Helps in house cleaning, etc. or not


D7 Partier or not


D8 Involved in politics or not


E1 Conservative


E2 Progressive


E3 Libertarian


E4 Communist, Marxist, Nazi


E5 Anarchist


D9 Environmental concerns


D10 Business ideas


E1 Capitalist


E2 Socialist


E3 Biblical (I don't agree with everything in these articles, but it does give us something to think about)


F1 Creating a Company Code of Ethics: Using the Bible as a Guide


F2 Biblical Best Practices: The Call for Christian Excellence


C2 A country lover or a city lover


D1 Country


E1 Animal smells


E2 Animal sounds


E3 Hunting, fishing, etc.


D2 City


E1 Neighbors


E2 Activities


E3 City sounds and smells


E4 What type of neighborhood


C3 Animals


D1 Inside animal status


D2 Outside animals


D3 Animal lover or not


B2 Personalities


C1 Introvert


C2 Extrovert


C3 Pet peeves


B3 Financially


C1 Work


C2 Bank accounts


C3 Investments


C4 Amount of time working


C5 Work related activities as parties, meetings, brand/business promotions, traveling


C6 High spender versus low spender


C7 Savings or spending


C8 Credit


C9 Wife/husband working while partner stays home


C10 Charity


B4 Spiritually


C1 Religion


D1 Serious or not


D2 Daily Bible reading and prayer or not


D3 Church attendance--regular or not


D4 Giving to charity or not


D5 Evangelizing or not


D6 Lots of church activities, some, or none


D7 What is modest and not modest


D8 What is the final authority


E1 Bible


E2 Theology book


E3 Religious leader


E4 Emotions


E5 Experiences (as dreams, visions, premonitions, etc.)


C2 Irreligious


C3 Doesn't care


B5 Emotionally


C1 Happy


C2 Melancholic


C3 Good listener or not


C4 Talker or more quiet


C5 Thoughtful or not


C6 Compassionate or not


C7 Sympathetic or not


C8 Helpful or not


C9 Needy or not


C10 Gentle or not


C11 Whinny or not


C12 Responsible or irresponsible


C13 What do they do when depressed


D1 Want to be alone


D2 Want to sleep


D3 Wants to yell


D4 Whinny and needy


D5 Big spender


D6 Big eater


C14 Mature or immature


C15 Not looking for a wife but a mama


C16 Self-control or not


C17 Gossiper or not


C18 Busybody or not


C19 Peaceable or not


C20 Humble or arrogant


C21 Appreciative or not


C22 Sensible or stupid


C23 Loves others or themselves (especially children and elders)


C24 Smiles or not


C25 Laughs or not


C26 Forgiving or not


C27 Joyful or not


B6 Marriage Life


C1 You are the one and only or looks around


C2 Flirts or not


C3 Views on sex life


D1 Gentle and caressing


D2 Fast and painful


D3 How often


D4 Birth control and abortion


C4 Who handles the money


C5 Romantic or not


C6 Eat out often, rarely, or never


C7 Where to eat out


D1 Expensive and formal


D2 Cheap and fast


D3 Grocery store


D4 Picnic


C8 Likes big gifts, small gifts, tokens, or none


C9 Enjoys your company a lot or rarely


C10 Looks and a person's weight mean a lot, little, or don't care


C11 Helps around the house or not


C12 Children or not


C13 How to discipline children


C14 How to educate the children


D1 Home school


D2 Public school


D3 Private school


D4 Tutor


D5 College important


E1 Child pays for most


E2 Parent pays for most


D6 Career choices important


E1 Professional


E2 Technical


E3 Labor


E4 Doesn't make any difference as long as they are productive, self-supporting, and happy in their career


C15 Vacations


D1 At home


D2 Elsewhere


E1 Expensive (as in a cruise)


E2 Less so (as in camping)


E3 Local or far away


C16 Retirement


D1 When


D2 Where


D3 What type of lifestyle


C17 Who is the boss in the family


D1 Wife or husband


D2 Both


D3 Neither (each does their own thing)


C18 Argues or not


C19 How they handle conflict (conflicting views)


C20 How they handle difficulties


C21 How they handle disappointments


C22 Their definition of love


D1 My way only


D2 1 Corinthians 13


C23 Boosts their spouses self-esteem or is critical and belittles them


C24 Critical, complaining spirit or not


C25 Wife is a nagger


C26 Concerned with spouse's emotional, physical, spiritual needs


 

A2 Some rules

B1 Husbands


C1 Be understanding of wife (1 Peter 3:7)


C2 Treat them respectfully (1 Peter 3:7) If not then God may not listen to your prayers.


C3 No adultery (Hebrews 13:4)


C4 Not to be harsh (Colossians 3:18-19)


C5 Not to remain a mama's boy and a responsibility to start own family and not live at home forever (Ephesians 5:31)


C6 Love wife likes he loves and treats himself (Ephesians 5:28)


C7 God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)


C8 Practices the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)


C9 Only one wife (1 Timothy 3:12)


C10 Live joyfully with your wife (Ecclesiastes 9:9)


C11 Have an enjoyable and gentle sex life (Proverbs 5:12-13)


C12 Teach children, especially truth about the Bible. (Deuteronomy 6:7, Psalm 78:5, Proverbs 22:6, Isaiah 38:19)


C13 Provide for family (2 Corinthians 12:14)


C14 To nurture children (Ephesians 6:4). Nurture has to do with correcting children and educating them.


C15 Try not to force your children to be angry (Colossians 3:21)


C16 Don't be an evil influence (1 Kings 22:52)


C17 Be a good influence (2 Chronicles 27:2)


B2 Wives


C1 Concentrate on inner beauty rather than outer beauty. (1 Peter 3:5)


C2 The final voice (authority) is the husband (1 Peter 3:5)


D1 Not a dictator


D2 Listens closely to wife's view


E1 Wife may have more common sense than husband (Judges 13:22-23)


E2 Wife may see things from a different angle. (Matthew 27:19)


E3 Wife may be gifted in that area while husband doesn't have a clue (for example wife is a physician and husband knows nothing about medical) (Daniel 5:10-12)


D3 Final voice as in any business, work, or government situation. Someone does have the final say.


C3 No adultery (Hebrews 13:4)


C4 Interested in helping younger women (Titus 2:4)


C5 Not to make fun of her husband (nor husband make fun of his wife)


C6 Practices the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)


C7 Only one husband (1 Timothy 3:12)


C8 Have an enjoyable and gentle sex life (Proverbs 5:12-13)


C9 Teach children, especially truth about the Bible. (Deuteronomy 6:7, Proverbs 22:6, Isaiah 38:19)


C10 To nurture children (Ephesians 6:4)


C11 Don't be an evil influence (1 Kings 22:52, Matthew 14:8)


C12 Be a good influence (2 Timothy 1:5)


B3 Children


C1 Encourage others to follow God (Psalm 34:11)


C2 Praise God (Psalm 148:12)


C3 Be wise, not foolish (Proverbs 10:1)


C4 Listen to what your father and mother tell you (Proverbs 23:22)


C5 Remember your Creator (Ecclesiastes 12:1)


C6 Respect your parents and do not curse them. (Mark 7:10)


C7 Obey parents (Ephesians 6:1). This would obviously be for good things not evil. If your dad tells you to rob a bank, you must disobey.


C8 Be aware, willing, and help your elderly parents especially the widowed. (1 Timothy 2:4)


 

 

Avoiding the psychopath and the abuser.


 

Make sure before you marry that the person is NOT an abuser. They will appear and act charming only to control you. If you do not or will not of anything they want, they will truly hurt you. That hurt may be financially, emotionally, physically, verbally, or other. Avoid, run, do anything to get any from that person.


 

"DEAL BREAKERS: HOW TO AVOID MARRYING AN ABUSER"


 

I think there are almost always red flags waving high and clear, but very few young people are willing to acknowledge them when passions are waving higher. We've all experienced this either in our own lives or as we've observed the lives of other young people. It's all about the "here and now." The FEELINGS. The romance. The dream. The excitement. The longings fulfilled.



Nobody wants to be practical. How dull.



The hard, stone-cold fact is, if a young person refuses to look carefully at the other person from all the angles, taking time to observe objectively and get the input of other objective observers, the feelings, romance, dream, excitement, and fulfilled longings will all end in a shocking and abrupt ending at the altar.



And then there's the long "and they lived…horribly ever after."



I'm not talking about the normal transition from the amazing drama of the dating days to the daily grind. Everyone goes through that and GROWS through that. I'm talking about when you wake up and realize with horror that you are married to an abusive spouse.



How can you avoid this? An abuser doesn't introduce himself like this, "Hello – it's nice to meet you. I'd like to take you on a whirlwind romance, sweep you off your feet, marry you, and then abuse you until death do us part." Tweet This They follow in the footsteps of their father, the devil. They enter your world like an angel of light. A thing of beauty and wonder.



They are super-de-duper nice. Like Barney.



They worship the ground you walk on.



They are very religious. Think Ghandi.



They tell you that you COMPLETE them. (Watch out with that one.)



They do good deeds. Like Mother Theresa.



They are charming. Attractive. Kind. Thoughtful. Spiritual.



Often (not always) you will find them in or jockeying for leadership positions.



Often (not always) they are very confident.



Often (not always) they live generously.



This is where time is your ally. Take advantage of TIME in order to see what the potential mate is like under pressure. For example:


1. What happens when you give him negative feedback about something he has done?


An abusive person cannot accept negative feedback.



They will... Read the rest at the above link.

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