Listening versus Offering Opinions

Proverbs 18:2 NIV - Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

How many people do we know that do not fully listen to another person?

People need to communicate to each other.
• Husbands and wives
• Children and parents
• Teachers and students
• Pastors and congregation
• Bosses and those under them
• Leaders and those under them
• Medical professionals and their clients
• Legal advisers and their clients

Understanding
• We must know what the other is saying
• We must clarify what they are saying if we are not sure
• We must be listeners
• Remember that we too have issues
• We are one family (Christian)
• Listening is showing love
• Listening is a virtue
• Listening is showing mercy

Good listeners
• Sit quietly
• Do not stare at the speaker but have enough eye contact that the speaker knows they are listening
• Do not give their opinion
• Do not talk except to clarify
• Do not offer solutions unless asked or absolutely necessary (for example a crime has been committed)
• Do have body language that reflects their interest in the speaker
• Do not judge until they understand what the speaker is saying
• Do not ask for details except to clarify. Example, evil pastors wanting details of sexual abuse or molestation
• Will relisten if necessary. Sometimes what someone tells us is so upsetting, they must repeat themselves.
• Don't gossip. This is private information, unless the speaker requests others know or a crime is committed (which must be reported)

After understanding, then
• Believe them
• Give advice briefly
• Refer as necessary (especially after abuse, molestation, and crimes)
• Pray with them seeking wisdom and comfort
• Offer to help ("How can I help you?")
• Follow up and make sure the person is receiving help

The fool
• Does not listen
• Quickly offering advice instead of listening
• Interrupting with conversation not related to what the speaker is telling them
• Using their cell phone, reading, or doing something else instead of listening
• Interrupt the speaker with their own experience
• Will not believe them
• Accusing them
• Will not refer
• Will not comfort
• Will not offer to help
• Seeks revenge
• Takes advantage of someone when they are susceptible to further damage
• Makes excuses
• In cases of abuse, etc. believes the abuser instead of the abused
• Gossips
• Mocks them
• Insults them

God (Yahweh) is a good listener
• Matthew 11:28 NIV - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
• 1 Peter 5:7 NIV - Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
• Romans 8:26-28 GW  At the same time the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we don't know how to pray for what we need. But the Spirit intercedes along with our groans that cannot be expressed in words.  27  The one who searches our hearts knows what the Spirit has in mind. The Spirit intercedes for God's people the way God wants him to.  28  We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God-those whom he has called according to his plan.
• Luke 6:12 GW  At that time Jesus went to a mountain to pray. He spent the whole night in prayer to God. (So if we need too, we can. If the Father listened to the Lord Jesus, so He listens to us as well).