This comment was
received on Love
Honor Vacuum:
I’m sorry to be so blunt, but no woman in the world is worth the
aggravation you guys described. It seems to me that, before marriage,
women are usually “hot to trot,” but once they get control of
your life and (mostly) your wallet, they turn off the spiggot, and
make everything into a thankless chore. After listening carefully to
the whole podcast, I admit to being a little like Aquaman. What I
heard was “somethin’, somethin’, somethin’, no sex for you.”
Even men who take their “shepherding” role seriously, get to
the point of desperation. We usually have ONE item on our list of
Requirements-for-a-good-marriage. Women seem to have 100 or more.
And if we don’t fulfill all 100 to perfection on a daily basis,
they feel justified in becoming serial refusers. It seems to me that
the problem your ministry you need to work hardest to defeat with is
women and their OUTRAGEOUSLY UNREALISTIC expectations. It is those
unmeetable expectations that are destroying marriages today; not
porn, not affairs, and certainly not “evil white men” and their
“evil penises.” It’s women and their insurmountable “Prince
Charming Complex.”
Bill
You
can read the response at the link about.
My
thoughts:
This
man, Bill, is either ignorant, willfully ignorant, or evil. It
appears from his last statement that he wants sex on his demand and
ignores his wife’s feelings. He needs to submit to his wife’s
feelings, too.
B1 Submitting to one another: Ephesians 5:21 NIV Submit to one
another out of reverence for Christ.
B2 He needs to love his wife as HIMSELF: Ephesians 5:33 CSB To sum
up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is
to respect her husband.
The
Bible teaches oneness in marriage. This is oneness in body, soul, and
spirit.
When
we say oneness we are not referring to Eastern religious oneness.
Oneness is understood to be of the same mind, the same spirit, the
same goals, etc.
B1 The Trinity is one, not as oneness theology (which is unbridled
heresy). John 17:21 NLT I pray that they will all be one, just as
you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And
may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.
(Also Deuteronomy 6:4 and John 10:30)
B2 The church: 1 Corinthians 12:13 CSB For we were all baptized by
one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or
free—and we were all given one Spirit to drink.
B3 Marriage: Genesis 2:24 NLT This explains why a man leaves his
father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united
into one.
Oneness
in spirit
B1 This is spiritual oneness.
B2 This is done when husband and wife pray, read and study the
Scriptures, memorize Scriptures, pray, etc. together.
B3 On a greater level is when the family is worshiping in the
congregation together. The oneness is the family is worshiping
together.
B4 This is fellowship.
C1 Enoch with God: Genesis 5:22 NLT After the birth of Methuselah,
Enoch lived in close fellowship with God for another 300 years, and
he had other sons and daughters.
C2 Elkanan and wives: 1 Samuel 1:19 NKJV Then they rose early in
the morning and worshiped before the LORD, and returned and came to
their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the LORD
remembered her.
Oneness
in soul
B1 This is emotional, intellectual, oneness.
B2 This is done when we spend time together for friendship, planning,
problem solving, helping each other, etc.
B3 It is for comfort and listening when in trials or the hard day at
work.
B4 It is for rejoicing together.
B5 You don’t need date night. It is to be the every day experience
of having each other.
B6 This is not to mean you spend every breathing moment together.
Everyone needs their space. The idea is in general there is to be
oneness.
Oneness
in body
B1 This is physical oneness
B2 If the husband enjoys pleasure, so should his wife.
B3 If he does not give her pleasure, he is either ignorant or does
not love his wife.
C1 Consider
D1 1 Corinthians 13:5 WEL love...is
not self-seeking…
D2
A
wife is the closest neighbor there is: Galatians
5:14
WEL
For
all the law is fulfilled in one saying, namely, “You must love your
neighbor as yourself.
C2
Abraham gave Sarah, his wife, pleasure: Genesis 18:12 NKJV Therefore
Sarah laughed within herself, saying, "After I have grown old,
shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?"
C3
The Song of Solomon
D1
This inspired book was and is to be read and interpreted in its
plain, normal sense.
D2
It is a manual of oneness in physical
and emotional spheres.
D3
It is part of God’s standards for husband and wife.
D4
A
husband is to enjoy his wife’s beauty. Release is not the goal.
Enjoying her beauty is the most important. We are not to enjoy
another’s person’s
beauty,
but we are to enjoy our wife’s beauty. It takes more than 2
minutes. Song of Songs 1:10 NLT How
lovely are your cheeks; your earrings set them afire! How lovely is
your neck, enhanced by a string of jewels.
D5
Song of Songs 2:14 NLT Young Man My
dove is hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff. Let
me see your face; let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant,
and your face is lovely.
B4 Release is relief from the build up of pleasure. If a man releases
without his wife being able to relax and have pleasure, he will not
have any enjoyment of his wife’s beauty, which is most important
for physical oneness in marriage.
B5 The wife has needs, too. Both husband and wife should fulfill each
other’s needs: 1 Corinthians 7:3 NLT The husband should fulfill
his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's
needs.
B6 A husband does not own his wife; she can refuse. They are to help
each other: 1 Corinthians 7:4 NLT The wife gives authority over
her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his
body to his wife.
B7 He has an obligation to fulfill her sexual needs as well as she
his: 1 Corinthians 7:3 CSB A husband should fulfill his marital
duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.
C2 It means
D1 Cognate:
3782
opheilḗ (a feminine noun) – a specific (applied) kind of
indebtedness, implying an "applied obligation" due to the
debt (what is owed). See 3781 (opheiletēs).
D2 3781
opheilétēs (a masculine noun) – a debtor;
someone under obligation to pay back (discharge) a debt.
C3 The husband has a debt to fulfill his wife’s sexual needs.
Love
in marital oneness
B1 Love is a choice
B2 The actions of love are 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
WEL
Love
is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag
about itself, is not haughty, 5
Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily
aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in
injustice, but rejoices in the truth, 7 Bears all things, believes
all things, hopes all things, calmly
endures
all things. 8
Love never ends
B3
Bill
does not do this. He
completely and miserable fails God’s standards.
C1
This is truly a time for repentance.
D1
Confession of sin
E1
This is a public sin and needs to be publicly confessed and
forgiveness sought.
E2
A sin that only God knows needs to be confessed only to God and
forgiveness sought from Him.
E3
A sin that only one person knows needs to be confessed to God and
that person then forgiveness sought from both.
E3
A public sin is sin know by many people. It needs to be confessed to
God and publicly then forgiveness sought from all.
D2
Asking forgiveness
E1
All sin is against God’s laws.
E2
Sin can be in thoughts, desires, words, and deeds.
E3
We live what we really believe.
E4
Sin comes from our evil hearts. We are not compelled to sin. God does
not decree sin.
D3
Change of attitude
D4
Change of life
D5
Consistency and persevering changes in public and private
B4
Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT Live happily with the woman you love through
all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the
sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.
Bill
you are in great error and great sorrow. You are harming your wife.
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